- I’d sell you really expensive. Just so that I can tax you for buying something that you could so easily make yourself.
- For being a lazy bum.
- Yes, I will judge you
I love to crochet. Those who know me personally know how crazy I can get when I am working on a project. But… I never crochet on requests and I will not ‘gift’ something if you ask me to.
People have told me that I should be more ‘generous’ and that ‘people make things for each other all the time’ and that it ‘grows love’. I am still very stubborn about it.
It isn’t like I haven’t made things for anyone. I do. My very first project was a crocheted baby Afghan for a friend’s newborn daughter. I have made doilies for my mom, sweaters and slouchies for my sisters, head bands for a very small niece , too many things for my nephew and very recently a cap for my bestfriend’s future grand-daughter. (That last one was a practical joke!)
So why is it that I don’t entertain requests? The 8+ years that I have been crocheting, have taught me a little bit about people’s nature and a lot about what gifting should be all about.
It is quite possible that it is a coincidence, that I came across so many of this sort but I have noticed, that the people who are more likely to request are women who have ample time, are too proud to learn something as meagre as crochet and who think that women who do needle arts are less educated and depressed to be staying at home with kids. I have a few friends who crochet and we have all been hinted at that it is only till your kids grow up. (We had already been warned previously that we’d give up when we had kids!) So, the reason I don’t crochet for others is because:
1. You don’t know the value of it. I really did notice this. People who have never made a handmade item, have little idea about what it means to own something like that. I am sure you are very intelligent and that well educated too and that you do know how much hard work goes into it. You will still not treat that item as you would if you had made it yourself. Trust me, I have been in this boat. I have owned mufflers and shawls that my aunts and cousins made for me and I put them right through the washer, dyed them even and did what not … then, I made some of my own. I had a heart attack the first time I gifted my item, to the newborn I mentioned earlier, and her mom folded it and kept it on the edge of the coffee table (without the cover, without the tracing paper in the middle and right there directly next to that cup of coffee!!!)
3. You are a woman. Some have told me that they don’t know the art. You need to know this. If not you then who?, I say. We are women… we are the ones who are supposed to have the patience for it. I learnt this completely online with nobody to teach me. You can learn everything online these days. There are so many ways to do it and it is easier than having a teacher most of the time.
If instead of asking me to make something for you, you came to me with asking you to teach you then:
1. I’d love to teach you.If you wrote to me asking me to teach you, I will gladly tutor you online. Send you to all the resources online and very gladly answer all your questions. Make videos for you even.
2. If you lived closerand I knew you personally, I’d give you books and patterns and yarns and needles too.
3. I’d support you in every way that I can too.
Even then… inspite of it all… you did come to buy from me:
And I will think all sorts of ills about you too … like you are going around spending money… when you should be spending some time instead. And… I’d wonder if you learnt something on that sitcom too…
Yes, I know… I am very opinionated… and sarcastic… and judgemental. That, is why I crochet…
Would you teach someone an art or would you just gift them and not present them the opportunity?