Let’s talk about marriages today. So you have a nagging mother in law. An alien husband. You don’t know how to handle your sister in law … then before you know it, you get a daughter of your own. Nobody gets a perfect husband or perfect in-laws right from the start. In fact, Happily Ever After takes time and hard work. I am reviewing a book that was sent to me on this topic. Simple as That by Nafla Salahudeen is a bilingual book written in English and Tamil about good manners, upholding your traditions, culture and your Islamic upbringing. A perfect little booklet that you can gift a new bride or her mother!
When I was marrying my husband, my family looked him and his family up and down. Was he really the kind of man who could keep their daughter happy? Will he break when life sailed high seas or would he rise to the occasion. Is he healthy -mind and body, trustworthy, hardworking, rate him on the scale of 1-10… yeah true story here. My parents did all that.
I am sure if you have a daughter, that is how you will judge your future son-in-law too. Sending our daughters off to another home is scary.
I have two daughters and I worry even though they are still in preschool. I try hard to teach them good manners along with the necessary skills required for life. I also try to teach them people dynamics. How to treat people with love and respect, for example. I am not sure how good a job I am doing (Preschoolers are tough nuts, you know!!) but I am sure, if you have daughters, you know what I mean.
It is a skill learning to deal with people of different natures. My grandmother used to say, ‘Girls should be like water. They should take the shape of whatever vessel they are poured in.’ I always wondered: What about boys… what should they do.
Years later, I learnt that boys are taught to evaluate whether it is time ‘to speak up or keep quiet.’ (My husband said so!) 😀
Bringing up my son, I sometimes wonder what his wife will have to put up with. Dirty socks under his pillow, loud burping followed by crazy laughter, food… oh my! She better know how to cook and feed an army! And then the never ending debates… He must know everything. And he must be proven right at the end.
Boy or girl, all children have their own personalities. As parents, we try hard to give them the best of both worlds. Then they get married…
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Nafla Salahudeen, is a young aspiring writer and this is her first book. I am so happy she chose this very important topic to write about. Bringing up girls with good Akhlaaq, inspiring mothers and mother in laws to uphold their Islamic upbringing rather than give in to cultural norms and teaching sisters to be better in laws – it is definitely a topic that needed to be addressed.
Simple as That is a good read. From an Islamic point of view and quotes from the hadith, Nafla shares her advice. Dealing with relations is not difficult. Don’t complicate life and people. Understand, hear and be human. Love for the sake of God if nothing else. Hold on to the good you see in people even if just to please your Lord. The book is a gem!
Simple as That is available in two languages – English and Tamil. I read the English version and loved the language as well as the content.
Here is what you can expect from Simple as That by Nafla Salahudeen.
- The first chapter is for mothers: Cleaning the mirror to reflect a better version of ourselves. In this chapter, Nafla talked about how as mothers we can support our daughters and encourage them to be emotionally strong yet love unconditionally. I loved this chapter as I am at this stage right now and always wondering if I am not empowering my girls enough.
- The second chapter talks to the new bride or bride-to-be. I love how she has all the right words. Nafla’s advice is like that of an elder sister so, so soothing.
- Then for your role as a daughter in law, she has lots of wisdom. From getting started right to balancing differences to trying to treat them as your own family. We all know the struggle, right? I love how she talks about managing disagreements.
- The fourth chapter is called ‘Am I being Replaced?’ 🙂 Yes, it is for Mother in Laws. Can I just say I admire her for addressing MILs too!
- The Last chapter is about How to poison your mother in law. 😀 No not really… but the most beautiful advice really. She summarized her whole book in that one chapter with a really good example.
- I love the quotes and hadith she uses through out the book. It definitely brings out the best in the reader.
Married life is not easy. Not everyone is blessed with a good family. There will be disagreements and differences. Every family has its own share but that doesn’t mean you cannot be happily ever after. A little training in people management skills plus some good advice goes a long way. Couple that with faith and you have yourself a recipe for happiness.
Nafla Salahudeen’s book Simple as That is available on Amazon and also by messaging her directly on Whatsapp or Instagram. It is available in English and Tamil.