The one question that people ask when they meet me is : How do you find time to do everything – kids, blogs, home, crafts? How do you make time for hobbies? What is your secret?!
There is no secret at all. There are two things I have mastered. You can do it too:
- The Art of Walking Away… or learning to say NO.
- And… knowing What to do when
Before you roll your eyes at me, WAIT! Let me explain.
The Art of Walking Away – How to find the courage to say ‘No’
There are so many things that are thrown at us through the day that aren’t all that important. We women (and many men) have the weakness that we say yes to everything. Once we understand what our priorities are, we automatically learn to say No to the least important things in our life.
Yes, we are talking about priorities
I will explain how to know your priorities below… but it is much more than that.
The real truth we need to understand is that there is only so much that we can do in a day. When you stop saying YES to everything, the overwhelm slowly melts away and we find that we have more time to do the things we truly love to do.
The Art of Walking Away is not just to say No to the least important things in life, it is also the ability to stop doing what you are and move on to the next task.
It’s about knowing when to stop…
If something remains in complete in spite of the fact that you had allotted it more time, you should know when it is enough. If you found an awesome crochet pattern but you have already been crocheting for 30 minutes and it is time for you to cook lunch, Stop. Put it away till tomorrow. Tomorrow be sure to come back and pick it up.
If you have allotted 20 minutes to declutter every day. Stop doing it at 15 minutes. Take the 5 minutes to move your clutter out of the way. Then be sure to come back the next day to clean again.
The Art of Walking Away is knowing when to stop and what to do next. You stop because you know it is time to say No More of this. You move on to the next job because you know what your priority is.
I want you to think a bit about this.
Isn’t this saying ‘No’ to yourself and then doing what you have to do, all about being a grown up?
I have to cook breakfast for my family, so I can’t sleep in.
I have to work on my website, so I can’t crochet.
I have to pick my kids from school, so I better get going.
Only we adults behave that way. A child or a young irresponsible person will not/ can not remember that… right?
This is how I remember to walk away: I am an adult.
I have responsibilities. I will not waste time. The Art of Walking Away and saying No is to remember your responsibilities.I am an adult. I have responsibilities. I will not waste time. The Art of Walking Away and saying No is to remember your responsibilities. Click To Tweet
What To Do When
Once you know what your priorities, you have the problem of ‘When to make time’. When should you do all the things you have to do?
There are three types of work in everybody’s life:
- Things we must do
- Things that we can do.
- Things that we want to do
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Things We Must Do
The Must Do things are the most important things in our life.
They are responsibility. For example, get food on the table, laundry, send kids to school, bathe the child, spend some time playing or talking to our children, eat food ourselves, have a nap – these are things that are essential to the well being of not just others but also ourselves.
Things that we can do.
The things we Can Do are those that are important but can wait for a later time too.
For example: cut up groceries for menu planning, go shopping to avail the awesome sale that is going on, mop the floors, clean the oven inside out, etc
Things that we want to do
The things we Want to Do are generally hobbies. I want to write, craft, crochet, create, make cookies. I classify all hobbies as Want to do.
But when to do it all..?
Once you understand what group your work falls in, you can assign time for it.
Must Do must always be gotten out of the way first. Can do is second priority. Want to do is your me time. It can wait but you should have regular me-time to be happy.
I have three batches of times in a day.
- Three times a day I do my Must Do list. Generally this is chores and kitchen work. For example, from 5am to 7.30am, I am making breakfast and school lunches and sending family to school or office. From 11am to 1pm, I get time to make lunch and do dishes. Again from 6-9pm I will be in the kitchen doing dinner, feeding and clean up. The rest of the time I leave the kitchen alone. I will not clean the house either.
- I have my Can do stuff scheduled for later during the days of the week. For example, cleaning oven on Friday 10am after breakfast while I do the dishes. Vacuuming on Tuesday at 3pm. Laundry every alternate day at 7.30am before I start working in my office.
- Once a day for 3-4 hrs on a stretch I do my Want to Do list. For example: In the morning between 7.30 am when my kids and hubby go to school, till I enter kitchen at 11am, I am doing my writing and blogging. I will not do house chores at that time.
If I have slept in the morning some day, I will not work on my blog at all because technically, I have missed my train! I missed the opportunity to have some undistracted time for myself. Is it right that I take away my children’s time with me for my mistake?
Because I have this emotional attachment to my goal, I try extra hard to sleep early at night so I can work when my kids are not home. Previously when my babies were small, I used to work when they napped.
This way, I have lots of time for my family. Everyday my afternoons from 1pm to 5pm are free for my kids. We have lunch together, we craft, read and play together. I always tuck my kids in bed so they are happy to have that essential quality time too.
Finding time to do everything takes a little planning. I know you can do it too.
Understand your priorities and take the decision to be intentional and deliberate. Do you know how to be an Intentional Mom? Read this post.